scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
