I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
