Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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