when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
