Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
sex in a hospital.. check
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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