Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
