This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
