i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
