I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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