i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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