i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
