Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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