I am puke
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
