My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
