I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
