yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
