how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
