No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
