My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
