i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i permit you to call me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
