Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
