the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
