the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
