Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Screwed.edu
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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