Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
