I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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