i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
