Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
