K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
