Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
