At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
