I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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