There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
