You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
