This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
