she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
