She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
