I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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