these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
