problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
