Welp...herpes.
you would pick up someone in the library
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
