Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
