why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
