After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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