Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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