Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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