Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
