Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
