sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
