I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
