Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
