rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
