She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
