after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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