I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
