why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
